Anticipation: The Good, the Bad, and the Weird

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There’s been a lot of anticipation in my life the past several weeks.  I just wanted to share some thoughts on various kinds of anticipation.

The biggest anticipation in my life right now is for NaNoWriMo to start.  This is a slow burning, long building anticipation that starts in the summer when I confirm I’m going to be a Municipal Liaison (ML) again, and never really goes away.  November is by far my favorite month of the year.  It’s crazy and amazing and ridiculous and I’m almost always looking forward to it.  The anticipation has been heightened this past week because scheduling has started happening for all the write-ins that will be hosted by WriMos in my region.  The MLs have had theirs decided for weeks, but it’s super fun to watch the calendar fill up as people announce their intentions to host.  We’re already down to only three days without a confirmed write-in.  I expect we’ll fill those three days in fairly quickly.

So that’s the good kind of anticipation.  Looking forward to what’s to come.

I also had the bad kind of anticipation this week.  It was time for my six month visit with the dentist.  I’m also due at all my doctors in the next month or so.  These are not things I look forward to.  I try not to think about them, but then the reminders start coming in, or I’ll see it on the leave calendar at work.  The appointment is coming.  The dentist especially gives me a bit of anxiety lately.  After not getting my first cavity until eighteen, and going several years after that without another, I have had six cavities filled in the last year and a half.  It sucks.  So I was nervous leading up to my dentist appointment even though I’d been doing everything I was supposed to.  The good news?  No cavities.  The bad news?  My insurance still won’t cover a mouth guard even though it really is a preventative care item when you have TMJ.  Maybe I should see if my medical insurance would cover it…

And then there’re weird kinds of anticipation.

I have a coworker who got a new job and today is her last day.  I’m super excited for her and it’s a great opportunity, but I’m going to miss her.  This leads to a mix of happy feelings and mild anxiety over what we’re going to do without her.  She’s the glue that holds together all the disparate little departments that live under the same senior associate dean umbrella as mine.  I’m going to miss her so much.  But she’ll come back to visit and it’s not like she lives any further away.  I just have to not fail at keeping up with someone like I usually do.

Along similar lines, we’ve been dealing with a little financial difficulty the last few months, so I’m always anticipating the next paycheck, the next bill, the next time they don’t line up and we have problems.  It’s stressful.  I’m stuck in a constant state of anticipation and anxiety.  Thankfully, that’s working itself out this week so that I can finally relax a bit.

Then there’s the kind of anticipation that’s only weird in my head.  I’m making my own Halloween costume this year.  I’ll likely post some pics at some point.  I’m super excited about the idea, and about actually doing a sewing project after so long.  But then I’m also nervous about my new sewing machine and whether the idea will hold up when I actually make it.  This leads to some procrastination, which I’m trying to short-circuit this week by at least starting on the wings for the outfit.  We’ll see how well that works.

What are you anticipating right now?  Is it a good kind of anticipation?  Or something weirder or less comfortable?

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